if i could make music fuck other music id make ryan adams fuck lauryn hill

bummingwithjane @ 2009-12-01T04:48:00

2009-12-01T10:47:57Z

Perhaps it was a passing moment of madness after all. There is no trace of it any more. My odd feelings of the other week seem to me quite ridiculous today: I can no longer enter into them. I am quite at ease this evening, quite solidly terre-a-terre in the world.
— Jean-Paul Sartre

bummingwithjane @ 2009-11-27T13:01:00

2009-11-27T19:00:57Z

originally i came here because i couldnt remember thanksgiving last year...heres how it went

i am currently at mike and audras. we are almost done cooking all of our food. im pretty sure we have blown away last years food by about a million. we have made the following
tofurkey
mashed potatoes
mac and cheese
biscuites and gravy
mushroom stuffing
green bean casserole
apple pie
chocolate peanut butter pie

i am currently thankful for the following
timm
mike
audra
our new apartment
my bonus that is about 600 dollars more than i was expecting to get
kitties (all kitties of the world, not just the ones at our house and mikes house)
seeing saves the day with kady on thanksgiving years ago
the conversation i had with risa about christmas years ago that led to my love of all fall/winter holidays, even the religious ones
the l word

:)

...

I still dont remember it but apparently the green bean casserole i made was amazing?

It is insane to me to think about the number of changes that i have undergone this past year. There is literally nothing i had last year that i have now. Every one of my relationships has undergone a very intense transformation, whether its me and timm or me and audra. I have one cat now. I dont work at urban. Wtf.

So, in keeping with the format i will recap

We had thanksgiving at Sara's parents house with Brian, the babies, Timm for a little bit, Christie, Andy, Mike, Mario and Mick.
celebration roast
baked beans
cheesy broccoli casserole
mashed potatoes
gravy
tamales
green beans
mac and cheese
portabella seitan strogonoff
coconut cream pie/pumpkin pie/blueberry pie
cupcakes

I am currently thankful for the following
Mick
Mike
Sara and Brian
the sweet little angel sleeping at my feet
the amazing job i have, and the amazing things i get to do because of it
kady always knowing. everything. and working as hard as she can to keep me stoked on everything.
did i mention mick is back?

bummingwithjane @ 2009-07-15T02:42:00

2009-07-15T07:43:07Z

pretty sure Tangled Up In Blue is one of the best songs ever

bummingwithjane @ 2009-06-07T20:07:00

2009-06-08T01:09:32Z

It was my friend Keith's birthday the other night and he had this gothic themed party so i made him these gothic themed cupcakes! im really stoked on how they came out, the cross is a little iffy but i was pressed for time!

they're red velvet with cream cheese frosting. the cross is dark chocolate! (all vegan duh)

list of 15 revisited and revised

2009-03-10T05:39:40Z

okay, i have to address the most glaring omission of Neutral Milk Hotel from my list of 15. Its painful to me that i have taking back sunday, while totally crucial but in no way comprable, on there and In the Areoplane Over the See is nowhere to be found. And in adding this one i realized i missed a slew of others.

I have to say, while filling this list out the first time i put none of the necessary thought and time into it. i was pretty shocked at how long it was taking sam and roby to complete it. but now i understand as my choices have weighed heavy on my mind since. So, in an effort to right the wrong that has been done, here is my newly revised list.

Think of 15 albums, CDs, LPs (if you're over 40) that had such a profound effect on you they changed your life. Dug into your soul. Music that brought you to life when you heard it. Royally affected you, kicked you in the wazoo, literally socked you in the gut, is what I mean. Then when you finish, tag 15 others, including moi. Make sure you copy and paste this part so they know the drill. Get the idea now? Good. Tag, you're it.

Bad Religion-Stranger Than Fiction-my mom came home from SOMEWHERE with this freezer bag full of cassette tapes and this was one of them. not the best bad religion album but it was pretty mind blowing for a 12 year old. i used to read Greg Graffens essays on the BR websites with a highlighter.

The Cure-Head on the Door-also in the freezer bag of tapes. To this day "Push" makes me tear up. Its just an amazing song.

Lauryn Hill- The Miseducation of-I have this vivid memory of myself and my childhood friend Amy (who has now had a baby and lives in Hawaii with a military man...i guess she didnt REALLY listen to the lyrics) recording ourselves singing Killing Me Softly' then years later my mom and her friend coming across the tape and playing it as i walk out of my bedroom saying "wow, who is this, she can sing" i still to this day do not know if they were making fun of me.

Crass-Stations of the Crass-this shit is still relevant

The Anniversary-Designing A Nervous Breakdown-This is one of the first "non punk" albums i remember really falling in love with and i found it all on my own. This is another Kady and Jade classic. Sophomore year of high school. Jr year of high school. Last year. This album has been with me in a new way every year. i feel honored i got to see them before their demise, with two of the most crucial people in my life. i think kady and i wrote "FREE PELTIER" all over everything at Chain Reaction. "All Things Ordinary" is one of the prettiest songs i have ever heard.

Saves the Day-Stay What You Are-i remember seeing the video for At Your Funeral on some BREAKING NEW ARTISTS thing on MTV while making beaded ska inspired necklaces with my friend Brittney. I also saw the videos for Thursday and At The Drive In. It was a pretty epic night. This album still owns my soul. Its gorgeous.

Against Me!-Crimes as committed by-This album is imprinted on my heart, soul, mind and spirit. It will forever mean the fucking world to me. The fact that Kady loves this album as much as i do is the glue that holds us strong. At least once a month this shit brings me to tears.

Cursive-Burst and Bloom- this marks a pretty heavy turning point in my musical life. This starts the dreaded Omaha phase. But cursive has stayed strong. We went to see them at the Glasshouse and Tim drunkenly sang "Happy Birthday" to Kady and Gretta told Daniel he reminded her of her old friend. Conor Oberst came out and did some epic shit and i freaked out like it was The Beatles.

...

This marks a very important transition in my musical life. i feel in some way obligated to Roby and the freezer bag of cds i left Long Beach with. i was a little bit angry with myself after listening to most of what was in there because most of the bands i heard had been around me for so long. i had tiny pieces of notebook paper with their names on them, sort of bookmarked for me to listen to later. i felt like i should have found them sooner, i should have listened to myself when at best buy and instead of buying that Unseen cd getting Television, because i read that really awesome article about them. WHY DID I NOT DO THAT?! I also find it important to note that the two major musical turning points in my life came courtesy of freezer bags full of music. who will be next to bestow this upon me?

...

Neutral Milk Hotel-In an Aeroplane Over the Sea-i remember driving up the really steep part of the hill that leads to Robys house in Daniels dad's car while hearing the title track for the first time. It felt strange and amazing and totally familiar. Daniel and i swore up and down that we had heard the song before, and maybe we had, who knows. Later, Sam and i would spend a drug induced evening in complete love and awe of this album. i swore it had to sound like what being underwater would sound like, whatever the fuck that means.

Refused-The Shape of Punk to Come-please see my rant on Against me and take the Kady part out. Truly beautiful in every way.

Modest Mouse-Lonesome Crowded West-there is nothing out there that sounds like this album. there is hardly anything out there that sounds like this band.

Q and not U-All Kill No Beep Beep-Kinda the same as with modest mouse. When i heard this it felt like i had discovered exactly what i wanted from music.

Rakim-Book of Life-i had just moved back to the desert from my grandparents house, i was staying with my friend Zella and she was dating this dude. I was using her laptop one day and he and i were chatting and he let me borrow his Rakim cd. Later i discovered he was one of those Wu-Tang types, educated black man who loves chess and malcolm x. he is my dream man.

A Tribe Called Quest-Midnight Marauders-ugh this shit is so good.

Nas-Illmatic-My favorite hip hop album of all time.

Runners up include-
Subhumans-The Day the Country Died-this is one of the few punk albums that holds up through all the hair dye and patches. i listen to it once a month and am consistently awed and appalled at the state of music today. where are these voices now?

Van Morrision-Moondance-when i lived with risa i got really heavy into classic rock. im not sure why, or where it came from but it so totally represents the confusion and conflict of that year of my life. i bought this album in San Francisco, alongside Beachwood Sparks and Frodus, and Whiskeytown. It was a summertime staple.

Bob Dylan-HWY 61 Revisited-The best Dylan album. I fought liking Bob Dylan all through high school. I finally broke down when i lived with my grandparents and bought Blonde on Blonde. I loved it but i didnt really understand the craze until i heard this one. Im not sure if i could listen to it now, but for a solid year i was totally convinced that The Counting Crows song "Mr Jones" was a Dylan reference.

Built to Spill-Theres Nothing Wrong With Love-originally i had Perfect From Now On. And this is still true. The thing about Built to Spill is that each album has a totally distinct feel and i think i love each one of them with the same intensity in different ways. I feel like Sophie when i try to make a decision. But this is the first one i heard. I have a story about every single song on this album but it does not have my favorite built to spill songs on it.

Taking Back Sunday-Tell All Your Friends-There was this really silly part in my high school days where i swore to god i was in love with Kadys ex boyfriend. While he was still dating Kady. It was intense and sticky and crazed and i am totally in love with it in retrospect. This album was the soundtrack to that summer. Along with The Pixies and Jimmy Eat World.

okay, i think this is it!

hearts on fire

2008-10-02T04:37:55Z

last night was fun. i think it was the first time kady and i have been drunk together since she has moved here. i lost my phone in the street while chasing after mario, who had, unbenounced to us, just stolen a peice of "art" off the wall of the bar we were at because timm thought it was hilarious. and due to the kindness of others i have my phone back. thanks diana, youre an angel...with youre adorable blue hair and cute cute nice boyfriend.

kady is going to CA for her birthday in a few days. we are going to have a party when she gets back. what should the theme be?

pogspot@blogspot.com

2008-09-18T04:39:08Z

today at work while perfect closing womens graphic tees i daydreamed about someone asking me to be in their documentery. then i started thinking i should have someone film me, for one day, just like, doing what i normally do, working and shit. then i thought if someone did that, and used 5-10 minutes from each hour for the actual film, my life would look really awful and boring. but maybe if each hour featured a really fantastic song it would be a little bit better. it made me want to start smoking because i thought it would make for better scenes in the documentery. like, i could be outside on our pourch smoking a cigarette, maybe talking to the camera, or talking on the phone. and maybe id be really upset about something, and id be making all these connections to the thing i was upset about and the system and shit. and id be moving my arms around real crazy like how i usually do. but that would be in the OTHER documentery i was thinking about, the one that would be filmed in an effort to show mainstream america that people who LOOK different arnt really different or something fucking silly like that. i couldnt really think of any other reason someone would approach me while at work in urban outfitters and ask me to be in their documentry. unless it was going to be about how work sucks your soul out of your body and turns it into a really nicely folded stack of shirts that have the recycling symbol on it.

anyway, i went to the coffee shop where jason works and he made me this really good chi tea and i ate a vegan oatmeal cookie and i talked to jason rovillo on the phone and it made me really happy to hear his voice. then i came home and timm told me about seeing nick and noras infinate playlist and how kat dennings and michael cera were there at the end of the screening to do a question and answer and timm really wanted to ask michael what his favorite slammer is.

hey jason rovillo, how about instead of me using my next bonus from work to go to buffalo i just buy you a ticket to come here and visit me and clayton and nick and stuff?

i wouldnt expect a republican to like joy division

2008-09-12T19:41:21Z

would it be gay if i said that for the first time i noticed and fully appreciated the subtleties in Morrissey's voice? while listening to the Hatful of Hollow version of This Charming Man?

bummingwithjane @ 2008-09-10T11:21:00

2008-09-10T16:30:59Z

so, my car is in fact finished. we will skip the three or so weeks i went without having her in my life, lets just say it was lots of sinaed oconner. nah, im just playin, but it did have me feeling more sorry for myself then ever. but thanks to the help of my family and my aunts fantastic lawyer power i came up with enough money to buy another car!

i feel like one of those girls on super sweet 16, but instead of getting a bently, i got a 2002 toyota 4 runner. and instead of just getting it because my dad is some rich dude, i had to muster the forces of nature to combine and collide with my finger via a faulty door in our old apartment building. but i have a dope ass uncle who drove me around in his lexus to find said car. so, pretty close right?

oh yeah, against me is playing on the 27th and i may or may not be getting a tattoo while they stand around watching.

oh yeah

2008-08-29T15:41:41Z

this is my bike, paprika.

i know its not red, fuck you. ill name my bike whatever i want to.

foodstuff

2008-08-29T02:24:45Z

this is who i spent my night with

probably the silliest kitty ever, assata

i went to whole foods maybe three times yesterday and this is what i ended up with. I made a really easy, really amazing potato-asparagus soup. one that was too hard to photo

reason number 1 wholefoods is better than trader joes, heirloom tomatos. is it wrong that i think these are the sexiest thing on the internet?

reason number 2 whole foods will always be better than trader joes.

i made these a few days ago for this guy Ben at work who was just promoted. i think theyre better that the original and maybe the cutiest cupcakes i have made thus far.

this is for roby.

this is for OP.

this is what happens when none of my friends will hang out with me and timm and kady are working.

bummingwithjane @ 2008-08-16T23:25:00

2008-08-17T04:27:57Z

Okay. I am recognizing that the voice inside my head is urging me to be myself, never follow someone else, because opinions are like voices we all have a different kind. So just clean out all of your ears. These are my views and you will find that we revolutionize over the kick and the snare. The ghetto vocalist is on a state-wide tear, soon to be the continent and then the freakin globe. Theres room for it all as we mingle at the ball. We welcome competion because it doesnt make one lazy or worn. We gotta work hard, you know the damn card, try to be the fattest is the level that we strive. Try to be the fattest also to stay alive.

1 yr anniversary

2008-08-14T06:26:24Z

my car is finished i think. i had to leave her on the side of the road.
im not sure im in a good place at work. tax free weekend is in two days.
my stupid birthday is in a few days and im already one person (who i wanted to come)in the hole.
my heart is breaking and im not sure if its worth talking to the ones breaking it.

but!
suma was so good today.
kady is the greatest little person in the universe.
timm made me toast.
i have four amazing cats.
jason and britton alone make up for my heart breakage.
my aunt and uncle.

"I put all my pride in a belief that it also justifies me, and all the men in my race, who know that there is an extreme point at which poverty always rejoins the luxury and richness of the world."

i fly like paper

2008-08-07T03:10:58Z

three things im excited about
matt l is here
my birthday is coming up
bonus time at work

three things that still suck
i need a new car
i do not cook enough
i still have a medical bill

three things i wish i could be doing
hanging out with jason rovillo
booth at the farmers market
wearing new glasses

three things i am greatful for
kady
timm
veganism

three questions im asking all of you
should i get my septum pierced?
what kind of car should i get?
if you had unlimited resources what would you be doing with your life?

bummingwithjane @ 2008-07-15T11:08:00

2008-07-15T16:09:58Z

we checked on my dream house. its priced at 91 thousand but its value, if repaired is listed at almost 200 thousand. i have a number. it may or may not need foundation repairs.

we also found a store front for under 600 a month.

all of our plans may happen sooner than we think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hey alright

2008-07-14T16:15:04Z

okay so mike and audra rented a van and went to suma. Britton came to our house and ate scramble and pancakes. jason went with mario to spiral. after all our breakfest needs were met we all piled into this van and made our way.

remember AFI? it turns out that everyone still likes them, but only their first five albums. its kind of strange but we listened to black sails in the sunset i think and all the dudes in the car were freaking out. britton says "this just makes me want to kill someone!! but in a good way." weird. dudes also love Dr Dre's Chronic and Andrew WK. Jason crowd surfed in the car and did all he could to keep the party going. he also ate way to many airheads and had a huge slurpee. he and britton got to talking "hardcore" and "the scene" and they decided they are going to start a band that showcases their positive attitude. britton talked about all the nasty things he thinks about doing to his girlfriend and the boys assured him he is not weird. jason and britton got to talking about anal pleasures and they decided to start an R&B rap duo called Nah Nigga. i got to see audras pictures from germeny and now i want vegan pho soooooooooo bad.

we stopped in austin to eat at Dog Almighty, where we discussed having plugs, kadys breasts, and a few lame kids from work.

San Antonio is disgusting. imagine Barstow with a few tall buildings. even the Alamo sucked. we stopped at a dennys to pee and audra britton and jason got coffee then we found the venue. everyone felt bad about having said coffee when we saw the number of SXE tattoos and shirts. there was a really terrible feeling in the air, much like the air in denton. im not sure, maybe its hardcore in general? we hung around a bit then the first band played. im just going to skip to Verse because all this other shit sucked. They were pretty amazing. it was almost offputting at first, to hear them discuss their politics on stage. its been a good minute since ive seen a band that did that. Shawn talked about straight edge as a personal choice, which was ironic to me but whatev. he talked about no borders and freedom in your thoughts and actions. there was also the usual "fuck bush, fuck exxon, fuck the war on oil." ive been harboring this fantasy where i somehow find an appropriate way to start a political conversation with Shawn and i maybe give him a book or something. in the fantasy i havent decided which book id like to give them, maybe Living My Life, but i promised that to sam already and thatd be kind of fucked up, but anyway, my fantasy did not come true. it feels to weird first of all, to care what a dude in a band thinks about anything, and second, how do you even start that conversation without sounding like a jerk?

britton almost died. i didnt even see jason the majority of the time they were playing. Have Heart was next. they were really really good too. so much intensity, so much straight edge. Lie in Wait, they were good too.

the drive back was pretty uneventful except timm said audra drove a good portion of the way with her eyes closed.

that pretty much brings us up to date. we found this pool at a park down the street and weve pretty much been there every day. we bring watermelon and peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches and books and we are working hard on our SUMMER FUN tans.

one day ill take a second to take a second to discuss the spectacle of the Merch Table, but not today, i have to make a coffee cake.

bummingwithjane @ 2008-07-11T23:31:00

2008-07-12T05:26:16Z

i was so close to finishing this, then more happened!

what i was going to say was:

kady moved here. she was going to visit but we decided that would just be silly, so she put in her two weeks and now she is here. she moved into our front living room. she set up her books on the mantle and shes got her little picture of her brother when he was a baby and tom from against me on her little aluminium photo clip. its been amazing having her back in my life. every time i wake up and i see her laying on her bed reading malcom x it makes me smile huge. good times. all we do is talk and argue and i yell at her because shes so quiet when she talks. the important part of this is what we are going to do. she does this thing where she comes out to texas and makes you realize that everything you want to do is well within reach. so we are reaching, or starting to at least.

plans are in the works for our little bakery. weve got three recipies and weve started looking into getting a booth at the farmers market. we are going to attempt something like a Food Not Bombs in dallas dispite the fact that its illegal to feed the homeless in dallas (Dallas City Code § 17-10.2.)

the first month of the bookclub was a sucess. we have eight solid memebers, a few floaters who seem unable to committ, and two newbies for this month. there is room for an entirely seperate entry on how i felt about Living My Life but im not sure that id ever be able to write it. it was an amazing thing to have the girls i had in my living room talking about this book, about emma goldman. im a little drunk with power, but i tried my hardest to keep from picking the most ridiculously radical texts. i feel really good about the ones ive picked, it should be a fantastic next few months.

the next potluck is on the 20th. i think weve settled on an "american" theme. you know, hot dogs and shit.

we drove to san antonio yesterday to see Verse. expect words on that soon.

bummingwithjane @ 2008-07-07T16:10:00

2008-07-07T22:24:25Z

with britton in my life the amount of traditional hardcore i listen to has increased substantially. it went from modern life is war and gospel to us driving to denton to see ceremony in my friend denee's livingroom.

denee, an introduction:
i had heard her name repeatedly when i first started at urban but had never worked with her, until one morning, during morning meeting i see this beautiful girl rolling around on the floor screaming black flag lyrics. she quit her job and moved to denton, into this house that was trying to be something like 191 hemphill but really, is just the house the members of A.N.S live.

from what i can gather, ANS is a shitty hardcore band. so we catch wind of this show, Ceremony, Life Long Tragedy, Sabertooth Zombies and PUNCH!, and decide we need to be there. the first person we see, in the front yard is luis.

luis, an introduction:
we met luis through mario at the last modern life is war show in dallas. he is a third grade teacher in farmers branch and he probably loves lifetime more than any human being i have ever known. he is an encyclopedia of all things hardcore and hardcore related from the year 1980 to now, and hes fucking stoked about it. there is no sense of irony or cynicism in his life. he buys merch from every band at every show and he does everything he can to get you to come with him to each one of these shows. he posts extensive, wikipedia like bulletins for every upcoming show within a 50 mile radius complete with videos, mp3s and a brief history of whatever band is lucky enough to have caught his attention. hes the dude at every single warped tour with a laminated list of who is playing, when, and on what stage. legit dude. did i mention hes a third grade teacher?

i lock eyes with denee and shes already wasted. shes got her hair in braids and she looks like a beautiful indian. she decided it would be really funny to have the bands play in the center of the house, in the smallest room. shes amazing.

Punch was the first band. chick singer. vegan hardcore from SF.
Saber-tooth Zombie was next. fucking intense. one of the singers, because there were two, got completely naked, stood on top of the bass drum, and....very literally pulled on his dick for about a minute. gross. at this point i am wedged in the corner of the room, behind two shirtless sweaty dudes who were at least twice my size. i spent a good 90 seconds thinking i was going to die in denees livingroom, in denton, at a Ceremony show. the house has hardwood floors and the room was so small that no one could adequately express their rage through the traditional method, so they stomped. they stomped on the floor like a herd of wild warthogs.

denee, an insight:
denee recently ate a lot of acid. and she loved it. she says shes amazed people are afraid of acid because all it does is make the shitty people in your life really stand out as shitty and the good people seem even better...and it makes your brain bleed. we spent the time inbetween each band in her air conditioned room, listening to her thoughts and insights on all the acid she had eaten. i took her vhs copy of the adventures of pete and pete.

Life Long Tragedy ruled. much of the same. then Ceremony. oh boy. i cant even describe the intensity that followed. 20 minutes of pure destruction. im amazed no one left bloody and the ceiling fan stayed on the roof.

there was a really bad aura at this show. the kids in denton seem to take this wherever they go. its the same feeling you get when you go to someones house and you realize people in the other room are doing really serious amounts of really serious drugs. just a bad. it didnt help that every one of these ANS dudes wants britton dead. he wasnt even there, but still. lucky for me, my posse rolls on waves of good vibes and tears from the sun. jason was there, and he alone was enough to neutralize the negativity. after things were over we hung out outside, with all the merch. mike went shopping and jason told me about why he got his belly button pierced. denee was on the roof, barefoot, yelling about something. we witnessed a drug deal and some girl called britton a liar. mikes friend alex despain came over with lots more beer and we decided to hang out out front. alex despain had just tattooed, on himself, the bride of Frankenstein, and it looked pretty fantastic. he was with his girlfriend and two other kids i think. at some point in our hanging out denee got off the roof and climed this tree. she started screaming for everyone to leave and that she had to go get her dog from some girl who had tried to steal it. she was drinking wine out of a mason jar.

denton is a really strange place. ceremony shows are really intense.

it is of importance to note that on this night jason and i had a conversation that led to his decision to become vegan. when he first found out i was vegan he said he had tried it a few times but he was pretty indifferent to animals, but open to the lifestyle. it is also of importance to note that alex despains girlfriend is responsible for this conversation taking place. she mentioned that she was going with one of her friends to get an abortion and high fived mario. the look of sheer horror on jasons face was priceless. jason spent a good part of his life what he calls, a very hardcore christian. i think he is fresh of some sort of crisis of faith. anyhow, i tried to tell jason to push it out of his mind, just to let it go and he says "its not that im 'pro life'..." i tried as hard as i could to explain to him that you NEVER want to start a conversation with me with that sentence, and that it was neither the time nor place for said conversation to take place. he pushed it a little so the conversation we had. after about 5 minutes of his "right to life" speech i politely told him that while he consumed meat he was in no position to discuss the "right to life." that he had no right to designate which life deserved to be treated in accordance with the definition of life and which did not. he thought about it and said alright. he sent me a text message and told me to call him when i got home, and when i did, he said he thought about it, and it made sense, in a literal way, and in a christian way. it was a really proud moment in my life thus far. i really hope he sticks with it. i think he will.

theres still a little bit more.

more! more! more!

2008-07-06T15:53:11Z

so last....thursday? friday? we all trecked out to ft worth, to 1919 hemphill. if you dont know anything about it 1919, from what we gathered is some sort of community space that features, a library, a "free" store and a huge upstairs that allows for a number of things (ie, shows, gallery space, club meetings, cooking classes, a really large game of duck, duck, goose). on the night we were there the upstairs was being used to host the Fuck Yeah Tour made possible by Sean Carlson and Keith Morris.

our first impression upon entering 1919 was, well, "this is dirty." dirty in a literal and figurative sense. there were lots of couches and chairs and a few rugs atop a floor that previously held carpet. there was a huge permanent calender on one of the walls that had taped to each little square the happenings for that day. next to that there was a bulletin board with lots of little flyers and signs. there was a table set up with your usual anti capitalist material. something about protesting the DNC in denver and something else about smoking weed....i checked out the library. it lacked the sort of maintance i think it deserved but they had lots of things of interest. they had a pretty decent selection of zines, including an issue of Green Anarchy from like, 2004, but they were all water damaged and chaotic. there were lots of cookbooks and cds and movies. there was a paper taped to the wall with the guidelines for the library and a signoff sheet that was void of any names.

one of the corners of the first floor was dedicated to a large passage from something that had been painted on the wall, in spanish and in english. something about community im sure. covering one of the windows was something else about capitalism. there were quite a few familar faces, a few of the staff from Spiral Diner FT Worth were in attendence. we ventured upstairs during the last few minutes of someone sound checking. the merch booths were set up and among them Space 1026 was there and some sort of traveling (anarchist) bookstore. i didnt get a chance to ask if they were native to the space or with the tour but i was pumped. they had lots of new books and lots of old ones and a shit load of bike propaganda. i bought a shirt that has a picture of a monster truck and says "smash capitalism...someday! someday! someday!" mostly because it was hilarious but mostly because thats my not so secret dream in life. oh yeah! there were bleachers! made of wood! made by someone who works there! mario was stoked. they probably should have been pushed against the back wall and not in the middle of the floor, but still, bleachers!!!

we chated up the dude from Space 1026 and flipped through the books they had for sale. he got us really stoked on our plans for dallas by telling us what theyve done, for something like ten years, in philidelphia. mike ment to get some sort of email so we have a place to turn to in the depths of our depression if our plans start to fail us but he forgot.

crystal antlers played first i think. i missed most of their set on account of taking sean to spiral to get some eats. one of his "friends" who i think was really some sort of reporter for some sort of publication rode with us. she asked him why he decided to book the show in ft worth and he said "...i just didnt want to do it in dallas." before i could really try and fight him on it he got a phone call. on the way back, while still on the phone we heard a secret about the upcoming Fuck Yeah Fest and holy fuck. thats all i will say. ill say it again because its pretty fucking epic, HOLY FUCK. hes an amazing little man, that sean carlson.

anyway, crystal antlers. what i did see was fantastic. they are fantastic. next was the comedy part i think. Hannibal Buress, Josh Fadem & Nick Flanagan. we saw josh fadem at mess with texas and when i say this i dont expect you to really understand unless you were there, but homie was misunderstood. he faired a little better in this setting. hannibal buress was probably the funniest dude ill ever stand 15 feet close too. check him out.

then the rest of the bands, Death Set, Team Robespierre, Matt and Kim. all were amazing, all had wacky keyboards and one had the most adorable tiny female drummer ever. kim, i love you.

kady made a friend too. his name is michael and we are trying not to judge him soley on his all over print hoodie. we chatted with matt and kim for a minute, and got them to record a buffer for our radio show, but it turned out to be unusable. still, it was fun to watch them yell into my cell phone. kady made me take a picture wtih keith morris. ill post it later.

it was a really amazing night i think. i felt a little bad leaving 1919 thinking "we could do this better" because, you know, its not about who does it or how its done, as long as its done and its done with integrity. but id still like to give it a go, running a space that is. and really all it would take for 1919 to become the center of my dreams is a little more time and a little more maintanence. its the only one of its kind here so, i will get my support on.

theres still more.

a few things

2008-07-05T16:48:52Z

hailey williams says to me, she says "that is a really cute dress." and the guitarist of paramore really liked my crass tattoo. then she ends up taking OUR picture. wtf right?

wacky things happen when you are around oliver peck. and you know what being around oliver peck means in the summer right? warped tour!!! at 21 years of age i made my first trip out to the summer concert and lemme tell you, it will be the last time i ever attend. water was 4 dollars a bottle. enough said. although i hated my life and was close to being among the hoards of babies nestled under the vans first aid tents (due to heat exhaustion) i was afforded the oppertunity to not only watch one of the handful of bands who have shaped the person i am from the stage, but i got to have a little chat with one of the members as well. it didnt even matter that of their 30 minute set, against me only played 3 jams (pints of guinnes, yall dont want to step to this, sink flordia sink), because i love them that much. it was really an amazing thing to watch this sea of beautiful little kids swarming around in the july heat screaming the words to a select few of my all time favorite songs. fists raised and shit. i stood next to oliver on the far right of the stage and we both got all amped for the same 3 songs. it was nice to feel that at least oliver and i share one thing...it makes up for all the times hes told me my cupcakes arnt real because they arnt sausage filled.

if you didnt know it, i really love paramore. like, honestly. i cannot hate a female who decides to sprinkle in refused lyrics atop her delicious pop jams. i cannot hate it when a mess of 14 year old girls scream "WE WANT THE AIRWAVES BACK" i just cant. id like to, i reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally would. mike read that she was trying to make the jump to veganism, so i decided to make her some cupcakes in the off chance wed get to meet her, and sure enough, as we are parking to say bye to oliver and company, he is standing under a tent by the rv talking to miss williams. we had to put the cupcakes in an ice chest filled with flavor ice. you remember that shit? like otter pops but better? she freaked out about the cupcakes and over mikes "fuck you i listen to paramore" shirt, that he made, on his coffee table, a few days before the tour. and oliver freaked out about the flavor ice. she demanded that we stay there so she could take our picture. adorable. i really just wanted to ask her about the refused lyric and let her know that making the decision to be vegan is the most christian thing you can do. but one of her friends passed out and no amount of flavor ice could bring her back, so the paramedics were called and our conversation was cut short. it makes me happy to know that two of my plates are on their bus.

there are a few more things id like to tell you all about but we are going to suma. and by we i mean me and kady. because she lives here now.

the weather underground

2008-06-23T05:47:47Z

do you think the members of said group are still being monitered by the FBI?

i do.

do you think i will ever stop being so utterly and desperately confused as to what revolution is?

i dont.

im going to run away for a year and just read. then maybe ill come back. maybe not though.

where did our love go?

2008-06-16T18:43:39Z

im about to hit up the Supremes discography like a mothafucker.

the potluck was yesterday and i have to say, for the first one, i was very pleased wtih the results. even justin wilson came!! timm tried to make donuts but they turned into muffins which turned into "donuffins" and they were amazing. that boy is a future pastry iron chef.

then there was the 13th. we ALL got 13 tattoos. oliver broke the record, and reclaimed what was his. im glad we got to be a part of it.

the bookclub is in full swing. ive got 100+ pages to read by 630 and questions to write out for discussion tonight. this book is rockin my world. emma goldman is amazing.

kady is on her way to being on her way here. im so excited!!!!!!!!!
mike and audra are moving into a bigger house down the street.
audras little brother is moving in the bigger house with them.
warped tour is coming. which is such a weird thing to have happening in my life. this will be my first year going and im actually excited about it, wtf? 5 years too late? yes. i dont even know whos playing but i do know im getting tattoos and possibly getting haylee williams a discount at urban.
my birthday.
canada.

it feels like sooooooooooooooooo much change is about to happen, im nervous and full of excitment, and a little scared our bubble will get too big and pop leaving all of us covered in that weird soapy residue. probably not though. right?

domestic terrorist

2008-05-09T00:40:56Z

i just made 36 cupcakes.

reaching out for a scary kind of perfection

2005-11-08T15:40:24Z

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A world where everyone understands that they are creators of social reality, rather than spectators…a world where everyone feels worthy of the best in life, and no one feels subordinate or less worthy than anyone else…a world where our interactions bring out the best in us, rather than the worst…a world where our institutions are nurturing and life-affirming, rather than domineering and life-negating…a world where our hopes overcome our fears.

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